• Kaley Sinclair Jiawon

Thoughts on Love: Self Love, A new focus on Love Languages

Hi everyone! My last post was an introduction to the 5 Love Languages, which can be really helpful insight for couples. If you missed it, click here to go to that article for background information.

My focus is shifting today to how they 5 Love Languages apply to yourself and the ways to take care of you! First, you need to know what your primary love languages are. We all respond to all 5, but some make a bigger impact personally than others. If you are not sure about which love languages speak to you, click here to go to my previous article and attached quiz to find out.


Ok, now that you know what your primary love languages with a partner is, let's talk about how you show yourself love. Self care is a term thrown around by a lot of people, but we often struggle with what that really means. I really equate self care to self love. When we love ourselves, we take care of ourselves.


In graduate school my professors kept using the same line that self care is like the instructions they give on planes about oxygen masks, you have to put your own mask on before you can help others. In theory, I got it, even though it sounded cheesy. I didn't learn until later just how true that really is, and it was great advice. So, you really are unable to truly help anyone else until you take care of yourself first. It's basic Psychology.


Different things work for different people, so it's important to find a self-care strategy that hits home for you. Here are some fun ideas based on your love language of ways to take care of yourself. Keep in mind, this may be different from your love language with a partner, and that's ok. This is just a fun little guide.

Self-care ultimately boils down to understanding what helps you feel refreshed, prioritizing getting that, setting appropriate boundaries, and following through... in that order. Sounds easy, right? 😉This is a struggle for a lot of people, especially those who love to help others. Helpers or caregivers often neglect their own care because they love to keep their focus on serving others. This is a great quality, but remember the oxygen mask. It's not sustainable. If this is something you are struggling with, reach out to a qualified therapist to learn how to prioritize and plan for self care.


My goal to everyone reading this is to pick one item on this list and do it this week! If none of these speak to you, do something else. Just take time to take care of you, even for 5 minutes. And as always, reach out for help if needed. Take care and talk with you next time.



Kaley Sinclair Jiawon is a trauma therapy specialist and owner of Sinclair Counseling Services, a counseling practice in Downtown Orlando specializing in helping individuals, couples, and families find healing, peace, empowerment, and connection. Click here to learn more.

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